DRACULA 2000

I’m one of seven people that actually like Dracula 2000. We’re a special breed, known for our tolerance of movies that are “hip and happening… in the tradition of Wes Craven’s Scream” (to quote the Toronto Sun).

To be truthful, there are just two things that allow this movie to have a vice-like grip on me. One is the most seductive trio assembled for the Brides of Dracula. You’ve got Jeri Ryan, Vitamin C (can you believe that’s not her real name?!) and Jennifer Esposito out-maxing the Hammer Horror brand for sultry Sirens in low cut dresses. I could’ve done with a movie that just focused on these three alone.

The next is an extremely inventive twist to the vampire myth, or at least Dracula’s.

Spoilers below!

We learn in the film that Dracula is actually Judas Iscariot, Jesus’s betrayer at the Last Supper. It makes sense, since everything a vampire is and does is a mirrored blasphemy to Christ: they feast on blood to survive physically (Catholics drink wine as a metaphor for Christ’s blood for divinity); they rise from the grave defying death to wander the earth damned (Christians believe their faith will enable resurrection). Dracula’s weaknesses stem from Christian guilt: aversion to the cross and holy water; vulnerability to silver stems from the 30 pieces of silver he took for his betrayal. It’s very clever and fits so perfectly, you facepalm yourself for not seeing it before.

In fact, I wish the film had centered on the twist more. There’s some nonsense about the protagonist (Justine Waddell) being connected to Dracula through blood (and weird too, since we’re not sure if she’s considered his daughter or his romantic interest… which makes for some pretty cringe-worthy Game of Thrones-esque scenes). And there’s a lot of dumb dialogue that comes with these sorts of movies: “we sucked him dry”, “never fuck with an antique dealer”. I suspect Christopher Plummer won’t be quoting any of them anytime soon.

But whatever. No one went and saw Dracula 2000 expecting The Darjeeling Limited. Did I mention how awesome the Brides of Dracula are?