TRANCERS

My 16-year old self baffles me. It was around that time I found a B-Grade film — tonight’s film — and watched it a lot. I liked this thing so much, I actually pirated it onto a VHS tape. After finishing watching it tonight, I have absolutely no clue what mysteries I initially saw in it. 

It starts off 300-years in the future, where a psychotic/psychic named Whistler has been taking normal humans and making them “Trancers”. Now, it’s never specifically said or shown what makes Trancers so dangerous, but we’re told they’re 50% cult member and 50% zombie. But other than some make-up, they don’t really worship anything or turn anyone into an undead soldier (but they do a lot of biting). 

Whistler escapes capture by going back to 1985. His mission? To murder his enemies’ ancestors, including Trooper Jack Deth (beat that name, screenwriters). He’s the only man with enough balls to time-travel after Whistler and zap him into oblivion. It’s Dirty Harry meets The Terminator meets Blade Runner with none of the skill, restraint or originality to be anything other than what it aspires to be: a cheap rip-off.

I don’t really consider myself a film snob at all. Jesus, I can watch movies like The Car and Q The Winged Serpent till the cows come home. But even those movies, as cheap, fast and out-of-control as they are, seem to be in the hands of filmmakers that gave a shit. There’s still charm in their frames. Stuff like Trancers is to filmmaking what Ancient Aliens is to factual history (way to go, History Channel). 

Some of my favorite moments in Trancers?

– Watching lead actor Tim Thomerson continually yank right and left on his car’s steering wheel. It was like watching a four-year-old pretending to drive a car in the garage; 

– The boom mic constantly poking in and out of shots,

– Stuntmen that look nothing like the actors they’re replacing;

– An actor on a moped told to go out a front door, which suspiciously looks like a clothes closet.

Maybe the psychic-hypnotist did have some kind of Svengali effect on us 16-year old viewers. According to the IMDB, Trancers spawned five sequels. It also spawned Helen Hunt’s career. At least it shows there’s something worse than Dr. T and the Women on her resume.